


Self-abuse

by mystiri1



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Community: ij porn_battle, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-25
Updated: 2010-04-25
Packaged: 2017-10-09 03:51:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/82723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystiri1/pseuds/mystiri1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he's a slow learner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-abuse

Gojyo doesn't know why he still does it. Maybe he's a slow learner.

But there are days when everything goes wrong, full of constant tension as the party waits for the attack they know is coming - and it does. Days where they see too much fighting and bloodshed, where the horrors they discover remind them why they're doing this, even if they have other excuses when asked.

On days like that they're all on edge when - if - they finally reach whatever passes for civilisation, and its clear that Sanzo's temper won't tolerate Goku's usual loud behaviour. And putting Goku and Gojyo together is likely to result in the destruction of the inn that's unfortunate enough to house them for the night. So Hakkai takes Goku, and Gojyo ends up sharing a room with Sanzo. Sooner or later, they're in the same bed.

Even though he knows better - really, he does - the blond is attractive when the robes are stripped away. The tight black top and jeans he wears beneath it make him think all kinds of hungry thoughts, and Gojyo doesn't say no. The way in which Sanzo lies on the bed, offering himself up with a submissive abandon completely at odds with his usual behaviour, the sounds he makes as Gojyo touches him, make him think other thoughts. Thoughts that are possessive, protective, even affectionate.

Then it's over, and Gojyo is banished back to his own bed with a snarl, and a barely dodged blow. Even if Sanzo asks for it, he won't forgive himself for wanting it, or Gojyo for indulging him. It's a harsh awakening from the heady pleasure of not long before, and although he knows it's coming, it hurts all the same. The cutting remarks the next day will have an extra edge to them, and Hakkai will give him a concerned, knowing look. He won't say anything, though.

Hakkai has only said anything once. "You deserve more than that."

Gojyo's not sure he agrees, but he says nothing.

"You both do."

Even if Hakkai is right, Sanzo has no intention letting Gojyo give him anything more, or of giving anything in return. And knowing this, Gojyo still doesn't say no. Maybe he's a slow learner.

Or just a masochist.


End file.
